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4 Things That the Best Self-Help Books on Marriage Teach You
December 25, 2007 |
During my engagement, I basically dove right into the best self-help books on marriage. I was seeking out help before the problems ever arose. Just maybe I should have took one to the wedding and on the honeymoon, who’s to say. But even they don’t really seem to help us, even though they do help me, and that is all that matters.
After I had read a couple of the books that are preferred by my husband, I can actually say with some confidence that the basic message behind them is all the same. Basically, they teach you what your mother taught you on your first play date, you have to be nice. They also teach you that you shouldn’t say things out of anger. And of course, there is my personal favorite, don’t yell.
I really thought, if I were not to yell, my head would turn into a cartoon volcano and explode with hot lava flowing out of my ears. However, these books also teach you how you can communicate without insulting, yelling or speaking profanity. All of the material that you will find in these self-help books is very similar to the Psychology 101 course, like you would take in college.
They tell you to use “I” statements and not “You” statements, they teach you to rate all of your feelings on a scale of one to ten and not to do any name calling. Even though I know all of these things, there is no way to download all of them straight to my brain, somewhere along the time, the information crosses paths.
Here are the four basic things that the self-help books teach you about marriage.
• Be Nice
• Don’t Say Things Out of Anger
• Don’t Yell
• How to Communicate Without Insulting, Yelling, or Speaking Profanity
After all of this, you would have thought that I would have given up on the overall aspect of self-help books. However, I just keep on reading them. The main reason is rather simple; all of the self-help books confirm that women and men speak a lot different languages. Yes, ninety percent of the world already realizes this, however my husband doesn’t.
The importance of self-help books is that they provide you with the strength to understand your spouse and how your spouse thinks so that you don’t mis-interrupt things and take them the wrong way. All-in-all, if you haven’t got to where you want to be in your marriage, these self-help books can really help you to reach that point.
You just have to remain dedicated to the goals that you have set for your marriage.
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